JokeTime ( A Pinoy Pastime)

WORDS and their ridiculous meanings:
01) Contemplate – kulang ang mga pinggan

02) Punctuation – pera para maka-enrol

03) Ice Buko – nagtatanong kung ayos na ang buhok

04) Tenacious – sapatos na pang tennis

05) Calculator – tawagan kita mamaya


06) Devastation – sakayan ng bus

07) Protestant – Tindahan ng prutas

08] Statue – Ikaw ba yan?

09) Tissue – Ikaw nga!

10) Predicate – Pakawalan mo ang pusa

11) Dedicate – Pinatay ang pusa

12) Aspect – Pantusok o pandurog ng yelo

13) Deduct – Ang pato

14) Defeat – Ang paa (ng pato?)

15) Detail – Ang buntot (ng pato?)

16) Deposit ? Ang Gripo

(Call DIPLOMA if DEPOSIT is leaking)

17) City – Bago mag-utso; A number to follow 6

18] Cattle – Doon nakatila ang Hali at Leyna

19) Persuading – Unang Kasal

20) Depress – Ang nagkasal sa PERSUADING

22) Defense – Ginamit ng mga pangsulat sa kontrata

sa PERSUADING

23) It Depends – Kainin mo ang bakod

24) Shampoo – Bago mag-labing-isha (11)

25) Delusion – Maluwang (kapag maluwang ang damit,

eh DELUSION)

26) Delivery – Walang bayad. Kapag working lunch,

eh DELIVERY na ang tanghalian

27) Profit – Patunayan mo

28] Balance Sheet – What comes out after eating a

balance diet

29) Backlog – bacon saka egg

30) Beehive – magpakatino ka

31) CD-ROM – tingnan mo ang kwarto

32) Debug – ang ipis

33) Defrag – ang palaka

34) Defense – ang bakod

35) Defer – ang balahibo

36) Deflate – ang plato

37) Detest – ang eksamin

38] Devalue – ‘yon ang susunod sa letrang V

39) Devote – ang boto

40) Dilemma – brownout!, a!

41) Effort – ‘dun nagla-land ang efflane

42) Forums – apat na kwarto

43) July – nagsinungaling ka ba?

44) Liturgy – what comes after litur F
VERY FAST TO RUN

A Japanese rides a taxi going to the airport. Along the way, he saw an Isuzu truck

Japanese: Ooh..Isuzu truck, made in Japan. Very fast to run ehh!? (Taxi driver nodding)

Again, the Japanese saw a fast Toyota car..

Japanese: Oooh..Toyota car, made in Japan. Very fast to run!!

Taxi Driver: (whispering) yabang mo..

Japanese again saw a Honda sports car..

Japanese: Ooooh…Oooh.. Honda sports car ehh?!! Made in Japan, very fast run!

Taxi arrives at the airport..

Japanese: How much?

Taxi Driver: 2500 Pesos sir.

Japanese: Ha?!? Very big!!

Taxi Driver: Ahhh, my Taxi Meter, made in Japan.. Very fast to run!!

PAYABANGAN

Girl: Bayad…

Driver: Ilan tong 50?

Girl: Isa lang kuya, Estudyante, Nursing sa Ateneo, Kasasakay lang

Boy: (Nayabangan. Nagbayad ng 500) Manong Bayad..

Driver: (Galit) Ilan tong 500?

Boy: 1 lang, Keep the change. Seaman, Kadarating lang.

Sira Ulo: (Tumawa, Inabot ang 1000) Manong Bayad…

Driver: (Galit na galit) Peste! Ilan tong 1000?

Sira Ulo: Tatlo, Isama ang Nurse at Seaman. Keep the change. Galing Mental kalalabas lang.

COKE

Batang Gusgusin:Pabili po.

Maarteng Tindera: What do you intend to buy?

Batang Gusgusin: Meron po ba kayong liquid solution that was mixed evenly with organic and inorganic compound substances and had undergone fermentation and sealed inside a solid state of matter in a homogeneous mixture?

Maarteng Tindera: Ha??

Batang Gusgusin: Coke po!!

DNA

REPORTER: Sir, kung wala po kayong evidence, witness or suspect ano na po ang next step ninyo??

Police: DNA yan…

REPORTER: sir, ano po yung DNA ???

Police: “Di Namin Alam ”

ABSENT

LOLO: APO, APO, MAGTAGO KA DALI, NANJAN TEACHER MO, ABSENT KA PA NAMAN SA KLASE MO,,

APO: NAKU MAGTAGO KA DIN LOLO,, KASI SABI KO NAMATAY KA KAYA ABSENT AKO!!

TANDANG
Kapag ang tandang nangitlog sa bubong… saan babagsak??

.syempre wlang babagsakan… ndi nman nangingitlog ang tandang ehhh!!!!!!